Awaiting Aunt Flow

Well it’s been a rollercoaster but I think I am slightly distracted by feeling so poorly 

I had a lot more blood from behind yesterday morning which was scary.

The negative result was not a surprise and it was a long shot to expect first shot to work.

I spent all day in bed (between loo runs) watching tv, dosing and trying to eat to allow me to take painkillers. 

Gradually throughout the day my cramping and bleeding slowed down which I am guessing is the progesterone lowering in my body. 

I have some brown spotting too.

I prepared myself with sanitary pads, tissues and painkillers close by. 

Today I was pleased to wake up after a decent night sleep. The more awake I became the more cramps came. Still spotting and some more bleeding from behind. I feel a bit dizzy too.

So took to my bed with hot water bottle, force fed myself a few bits so I could take a tablet. 

Had a chat to hubby about how he was feeling about it all. He’s disappointed of course and thinking like me if we did the right thing going straight to ivf without having further Endo treatment. 

We discussed the possibility of asking the consultant if we could test the uterus environment to make sure it’s not hostile in any way getting attacked by Endo nasties. I would also like to find out if we could top up our treatment to use donor eggs.

When we were shown the picture of the embryos we were told they were not top quality and had some fragmentation. On doing some more reading this can be a sign that they are developmentally disadvantaged.

I want to know more about what can effect this and what more can be done. 

I would be happy to use donor eggs if it meant a better chance for our embryos. I know half would not be me but it’s more important to me that Hubby’s side is there than mine as I have fears that if I have a girl I could pass on my Endo to her. 

I would be carrying the baby and I would love it all the same.

I would also like to push for a scan to check on the Endo and if it is attached anywhere that will effect my pregnancy.

So lots of questions to ask the consultant on the 7th Dec.

So now all I have to do is await the period and get back on track. 

I know this period will be hell when it comes so I have warned my supervisor that I may be off sick. 

I don’t want to be but what can you do when your Endo thinks your uterus and bowel is a chew toy and makes you run to the loo every half hour (if I’m lucky)


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