Light at the end of the tunnel

This morning when I woke up I felt a little lost.

I thought about going back to work and anxiety washed over me.

I gave up my anxiety medication before Egg collection after 5 years or more on the drug and weaning down over time and finally to 10mg every other day for a month.

I thought I would never get off this drug and the rise of anxiety in me made me think I have to get help or do something to stop this vicious cycle taking me over again.

I looked out of the window at the frosty grass and the sunshine…… I wanted to go out.

I thought about going somewhere with autumn leaves and reflecting or maybe going to get my nails done. Nothing really fit in my mind.

I realised I hadn’t left the house since last Wednesday evening!

So I text my mum and she suggested I came to see her.

I took my time to do my make up, hair and get dressed. It felt nice to make an effort and look a bit more human.

I booked a weekend away for us too, near the beach, cafes and pubs and in a caravan park so there is a pool and golf to keep us entertained.

I also emailed my Supervisor at work to let her know I plan to go back to work on Friday as I have a Dr appointment tomorrow to hopefully get a fit to work note. I asked her to let the team know what had been happening with me so they all didn’t bombard me with questions that may upset me.

I also left a message for the clinic Counsellor to call me back to arrange a telephone appointment.

I drove to my mums and had lovely cuddles with the Cat & a nice cuppa and chat with mum. We had some giggles and I felt a lot more happy when I went home.

When I got home I had a bath, tidied up a bit and snuggled up on the sofa to watch a movie.

Then I booked a hair appointment for the weekend to have a colour I haven’t been able to have because of all the hormones!

I also had a call back from the counsellor and a telephone appointment booked for Friday evening.

I offered my purchased Pregnancy Books to a Pregnant Friend to borrow.

I have a long way to go……….. but now the pain of the Endo (period) is settling I can focus more on my mental well being.

I feel I have achieved alot today and even though I have the occasional lull in mood I feel a bit more equipt to face the next step.


 


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