This morning when I woke up I felt a little lost.
I thought about going back to work and anxiety washed over me.
I gave up my anxiety medication before Egg collection after 5 years or more on the drug and weaning down over time and finally to 10mg every other day for a month.
I thought I would never get off this drug and the rise of anxiety in me made me think I have to get help or do something to stop this vicious cycle taking me over again.
I looked out of the window at the frosty grass and the sunshine…… I wanted to go out.
I thought about going somewhere with autumn leaves and reflecting or maybe going to get my nails done. Nothing really fit in my mind.
I realised I hadn’t left the house since last Wednesday evening!
So I text my mum and she suggested I came to see her.
I took my time to do my make up, hair and get dressed. It felt nice to make an effort and look a bit more human.
I booked a weekend away for us too, near the beach, cafes and pubs and in a caravan park so there is a pool and golf to keep us entertained.
I also emailed my Supervisor at work to let her know I plan to go back to work on Friday as I have a Dr appointment tomorrow to hopefully get a fit to work note. I asked her to let the team know what had been happening with me so they all didn’t bombard me with questions that may upset me.
I also left a message for the clinic Counsellor to call me back to arrange a telephone appointment.
I drove to my mums and had lovely cuddles with the Cat & a nice cuppa and chat with mum. We had some giggles and I felt a lot more happy when I went home.
When I got home I had a bath, tidied up a bit and snuggled up on the sofa to watch a movie.
Then I booked a hair appointment for the weekend to have a colour I haven’t been able to have because of all the hormones!
I also had a call back from the counsellor and a telephone appointment booked for Friday evening.
I offered my purchased Pregnancy Books to a Pregnant Friend to borrow.
I have a long way to go……….. but now the pain of the Endo (period) is settling I can focus more on my mental well being.
I feel I have achieved alot today and even though I have the occasional lull in mood I feel a bit more equipt to face the next step.