Step by Step

We spent yesterday afternoon and evening relaxing watching tv and I had a whiskey or two!

We wore Christmas hats, joked and laughed and I felt a bit more like me.

My period is about finished although the spotting has continued as it normally does for quite a while. I have been feeling a bit ropey as I haven’t been as regular the last few days which is probably down to the rapid change of diet.

I need to get back on to my healthy pattern and my supplements in the next few days but taking my time.

My sleep was a bit broken up with my tummy cramping on and off all night.

This morning I woke up feeling a bit lost again, what should I do? what can I do that will help me feel better?

So I started with a shower and I did my makeup to match my new hair and I felt quite glamorous. I am noticing more and more and more my face changing and ageing. Or maybe I just haven’t really looked for a while.

I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and hovered through. During this I had a call fro a relative wanting a favour and I agonised for nearly an hour over the guilt of not doing it and the feeling that I didn’t want to. I had planned in my head what I wanted to achieve today and I didn’t want to away from it.

I said I would help tomorrow so I could continue with my plan.

I put up some pictures in the house and did some washing. Getting things done seems to help me feel that I am useful and capable and there are things I can control.

I have a counselling session this afternoon and I plan to talk more about my close pregnant friend, this seems to be really dominating my thoughts and causing the most anxiety.

I need to pull myself away from it for now until I have had time to process and accept what’s happening.


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