MRI day 

Well my drs appointment was a little disappointing. Although the lady dr was understanding and comforting she couldn’t prescribe me an alternative to cerazette. She suggested I stop it or consider Uping my anti depressants!

She did give me medication to protect my tummy and constipation sachets to go alongside my mega strength co-codomal and mefernamic acid.

I was in floods of tears which I think I really needed. She offered to write to my consultant to request him to prescribe me a suppressant as apparently this has to come from them when it gets to this type of medication. 

When I got home I discussed the medicine and how I was feeling to my husband. I explained that my mood had got so low I had considered driving off the road. I was sick of the fight and feeling so poorly every day. I felt I had no quality of life and I just wanted some answers. 

We hugged and spoke about it and I felt I had the support I needed to make a decision to take them until the MRI to make sure I wasn’t prevented from going from the bowel bleeding starting up when I stop them. 

I am scared when the pill will cut out of my system and how my body will react. 

So I got through work on Thursday and I managed to keep my head up for my husbands birthday. 

The next day I felt refreshed, as I managed to sleep properly for the first time in two weeks. I felt very constipated but other than that ok. 

I got to work on time and when I got settled I noticed a ‘floater’ or something in my eye. I thought it would pass, but it spread like a long flashing coloured line and was there through both eyes and even when they were closed. I shut my eyes for 5-10 minutes as I couldn’t see the computer screen properly at all. 

I took pain killers as the only time I have experienced visual disturbances like that is a migraine when I was on the combined pill many years ago. 

15 minutes passed and the pain started, my left eye, head, cheek, jaw and neck hurt so much. I tried so hard to work but the longer I waited the more I shook and I felt nauseous when I looked at the screen. 

Anyway I ended up being taken to our staff room and watched by the supervisor who helped me call my husband to collect me as they didn’t want me to drive and I didn’t feel safe at all. 

Whilst we were in the room together it gave us a chance to talk about what had been going on with my meds, how I was feeling and what could happen now. 

I explained that this migraine just confirmed I can’t take this pill anymore.
I felt relieved that I had told her how hard it was hitting me. When my husband arrived he was amazing. As we drove home I told him that I was thinking about a hysterectomy, and I had concerns with my long term health as a mum, the risks and how our life has been on hold. We briefly mentioned fostering. 

He retains the worry that we will regret the decision to not try again with ivf but that we would talk about it when we knew the result of the MRI and what damage we are looking at. 

I had some toast and a cup of tea when I got home and went I bed with an eye cover. When I woke I felt a lot clearer but just a bit wobbly. 

I took it easy in the evening and took my medicines to try and clear my constipation for the MRI in the morning.

Well I have been sweating so much all night as I seem to do every night now. I had a headache and my bowels are cramping. The pain and pulling just to pass the smallest amount is ridiculous. 

When I had my first surgery a year and a bit ago they said that part of my bowel was tangled up around my tube and ovary and stuck to my uterus. 

I think this is the case again and I am hoping that when that tube and ovary is gone that I will feel so much better.

I have been back and forth to the loo and trying to re hydrate all morning. Too tired to do much else and I just want to get the MRI done. 

It’s 6 weeks til my surgery now and I just hope the expectations I have are obtainable. 

One thought on “MRI day 

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I’m really glad you were honest with your husband and had such good chats though. It sounds like you need to make some big decisions at some point. If you were to do one more round of IVF after the operation to remove the endometriosis, what sort of odds are you looking at? I guess that might help you decide whether it makes sense or not. I know a friend of mine who had that surgery (though hers doesn’t sound as bad as yours) decided she and her husband would keep trying for another 6 months after the op to get pregnant and if it doesn’t work by then she’d like give up and go on the pill (they’ve been trying several years already and have one failed IVF round). I hope you find a good way to move forward. Also please don’t do anything drastic. Hang in there, things will get better eventually! Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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