Day 26 – Countdown to Op

The last few days have been reflective.

I am in one way relaxed to have made a decision and please that a new beginning is round the corner.

Although a new fear has kicked in.

The prostap injection would have been due on Monday which means that in one way or another it will start wearing out of my system. What is going to happen as it dies down?

Will I bleed? Will the pain return? Will my bowel bleeding start?

A lot of women after a long time on this drug take months to get a cycle back , but I have only had one month so I don’t know what will happen. Although my actual period is due the 19th March so I hope that the surgery will get to it before it rears its head.

I have been doing a lot of online research into surgical menopause and the job of the ovaries in general health. Its quite scary to be honest.

There are many natural remedies that look after several areas of health but none of them work for everyone. I would think that I will start on HRT when I leave the hospital which I will request be the lowest possible to help with bone density and mood.

I plan to start with Evening Primrose Oil Capsules and then see what symptoms need treating next. I think I am most worried about mood, as I already take Anti depressants for anxiety and I don’t want to feel too low.

Mainly the positive will be no periods and therefore no fear of the bleeding and pain.

I am not going to lie…. I do have a wobble occasionally seeing a little one laughing etc but I then click back to why I cant fight anymore.

So many reasons and the main aim still is getting my life back and we cant carry on as we are. Something has to give and its time I took control.

For the first time in a long while I have organised to meet friends and family for a drink tonight. It will kind of be my last night out before the op. I only plan to maybe le myself get a little tipsy as I am really focusing on staying well.

My bowel is bubbling but nothing like usual, its times like this that I realised how scared I am of my own body. Another reason to move on!


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