Had a great weekend catching up with friends and family. Lots of laughs and hugs. There a few difficult moments when others spoke of trying for a baby or seeing my 6mth pregnant sister. 

I have so much pride and love for her but also so much of a battle inside me to make sense of everything. Watching the family coo over her exciting time is a hard. 

I made it through and came home needing to take a breath and again make peace with my decision. 

Last night I had a horrid nightmare about my upcoming surgery. For some reason I was there on the wrong date, I was unprepared and had eaten. The surgeons held me down as I tried to explain and gave me injections. 

My hubby is starting to show signs of getting tired of my lack of confidence in times of intimacy and I am more aware of the effect I am having on him than ever. 

Just a week to go and I need to find strength to get through. 

I feel like I am getting cystitis which happened before my last op. I may have to go to drs and check I don’t have an infection. 

Deep breath and keep fighting! 

3 thoughts on “Nightmares 

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