Yesterday

Yesterday  I attended a funeral for an Aunt. This was the first time I had been out of the house since the operation and I must admit I was a little apprehensive.

I found an outfit to wear that was comfortable and wore some supportive underwear. I also made sure I took some painkillers before leaving the house as I was feeling some pulling below the stitch sites. The car journey wasn’t uncomfortable which was a relief. I was a little worried about the stent and how often I would need to use the loo but it was fine.

We pulled up at the crematorium and walked towards the building. The first relative I saw said “So ,have you had it?” and i automatically thought she meant the op. I said Yes, and she said “Oh Are you pregnant?”

My heart dropped and I replied that in fact it was the opposite and I had my ovaries removed, as the IVF had failed and I had become more ill. She said “Oh, I will talk to you about it later” We continued the walk into the crem and I knew this was going to happen again. The last time I saw this part of the family was another funeral and I was excited to tell everyone we were starting IVF.

In the service I found it hard to concentrate as I was thinking how many other people were going to ask me. As they closed the curtains the music started….. it was ‘Time to say Goodbye’ It made me think about letting go of our tries and having biological children.

As we left the Crem there were the normal hugs and kind words to the closer relatives of my Aunt. A few people said they had heard I had been unwell and wished me well.

Once I had explained to a few more people it felt a bit easier but in a way I did feel like a let down and that people were expecting more news. My closer relatives were attentive and checking on me, as well as my hubby who was scared that I would be upset.

I had a lovely chat to one cousin who talked to me about HRT and her experience which was positive. I also chatted to my Uncles wife about her experience and the chance of full recovery.

When it was time to leave I felt a bit disappointed but I knew that when I got home I would be exhausted. I did feel so tired and a little nauseas, so I had some lunch and put on a movie to relax, I did some sewing too.

In the evening I managed to prepare dinner and do a little tidying up but by then I was a little sore. I went to bed and it took me a lot longer to get to sleep but I got off eventually.

Tomorrow I am off to the doctor to pick up my HRT and I will discuss returning to work on Tuesday. I emailed my Team Leader yesterday to discuss the possibility of coming back on shorter hours which they agreed would be ok if it is agreed with my GP. The personnel manager said I should do whatever I feel is right for me.

I continue to be extremely lucky with the support and care of my employer.


One thought on “Yesterday

  1. I’m sorry about the comments from your relative and having to explain things. I can imagine that must have been really hard especially when it was obvious they were hoping for different news! It sounds like you handled everything really well though. Thinking of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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