Drs appointment 

I didn’t expect too much from the drs but I guess I needed some reassurance.

She was very understanding and almost shocked at what I had been through. She looked at my records and it seems that my surgeon hasn’t sent through my op notes yet which I was surprised about. 

She examined my tummy and talked me through the symptoms I was having. Her main concern was the bowel symptoms and she was please to hear that I had an email from the Endo nurse today saying they would organise the Endoscopy team to do a further investigation. 

She explained that the HRT has the two hormones, the estrogen for health which encouraged the lining to grow and the progesterone which tells the lining to stop. For a while they argue with each other until they settle and give up. 

She wants me to try and make it through the 3 mtha on it to give it time to see if it works for me. There was nothing she could recommend to ease the bowel as she believed it all to be hormone related. 

I sat on a bench in the sun for a while before I went in just contemplating what I had gone through, and that I may have to go through more surgery on the bowel to really be better. 

It made me wonder would I ever be totally better and where I would find the strength to carry on fighting. 

My hubby said he thought I was expecting too much too quick and that I was doing too much and I needed to take it easy. 

My boss also said I need to be thinking of number one and not saying yes to helping out all the time. So when I found I had an afternoon off today I fought against my temptation to tidy and clean and watched a movie snuggled on the sofa. 

I ordered a takeaway so neither of us had to cook and now I am off for an early night.

Today I have had a bit less rushes to the loo and although I am still passing some blood and have some pressure I have been managing it by resting, and taking regular pain killers. My vaginal bleed has turned to old blood but I have had some pain and bloating throughout the day which has come through between doses of mefernamic acid.

I guess the biggest battle for me at the moment is staying positive and trying not let it all get me down. 

I feel like I am sick of telling people I am feeling bad, I just want to be better and Be able to tell people I am doing well.  At the moment I feel like a broken record. 

I know I am not back at square one as I have made a lot of changes but the period have to go and the bowel bleeding needs to be a thing of the past for me to move forward.


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