Bank holiday weekend 

I am definitely going through to the next part of symptoms. My emotions have been stable but ever changing. 

Sensitive to a lot, but numbed to other things. I have to remind myself of what a massive journey we have been on. My hubby is getting frustrated with waiting to return to oz and feeling like we have wasted a lot of time. 

I know what he means as I constantly feel like that. It’s something I can’t change and the process I am going through is normal but just accelerated. 

I have had a lot of exhaustion even after doing very little, hot flashes are very regular now and dreams are very weird.

The achy legs have stopped as long as I keep up the walking and the osteocare supplement. The fidgety legs and feet can be quite frustrating though.

I am noticing changes again down below, which is sometimes uncomfortable and irritated. I am still researching internal moisturisers and natural remedies to help with that.

I think I will start the evening primrose oil tomorrow and see if that works. 

We have been a lot more social this weekend by seeing family and going out just the two of us to walk around stansted park and have a cream tea. It was lovely to be together exploring even though it rained on and off. 

Intimacy is still a challenge for me and I believe this will improve as time goes on. I have my colonoscopy next weekend and the following one we are off to Paris. 

I hope this will be a turning point for us to get closer and enjoy some us time away from normal life. 

Although routine can be safe it can also drag you down and make life dull. We have a lot of little trips planned and it’s nice to feel some progress on being able to get out and about again. 

A lady on one of my support groups tried to take her own life recently. She just couldn’t take the constant pain, suffering and lack of medical help and understanding. It’s hit home to me how close I got at times to considering if I had the strength to carry on. It’s only been fleeting thoughts for me when things have been at their worst but thinking of my hubby, family and friends always makes me break through to keep trying. 

I am lucky to have got the treatment I have so far and to have found some kind of relief. I know I have a long way to go before I know if I have found something that will work in the long term but I do feel so much better physically. 

Fingers crossed that I carry on improving! 

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