How I feel right now

Well the countdown has begun. I knew that as the new year arrived so would some of the nerves and the realisation that this is real. We are about to move our entire life to the other side of the world. Other than the fact I am leaving my family here in England I am wondering how a menopausal woman will cope with the massive change.

The heat is crazy out there at the moment and all I can think off is how will I feel when the hot flashes take over. Will i be about to combust into flames or just feel constantly overheated?!

I have been thinking a lot about family. Well as much as I will allow myself because it hurts. I feel a mix of sadness because I will miss them and guilt that I am leaving them all to look after each other.

As much as I want my freedom and new life I also feel safe and secure surrounding by people I love. People tell me they want me to be happy and have my own life but what do they feel deep down. I hope they don’t feel anger and upset at me leaving.

I am so scared of being away and something happening to the people I love so much. I hope I am strong and confident enough to take this opportunity by the horns and go for it.

I really want the idealistic new and amazing life in Oz with my husband. We really do deserve it after all we have gone through.

I know life as it is right now is comfortable and feels safe in my routine but it is lacking in opportunity, inspiration and affordable homes.

As the date approaches and I train other staff to do my job I realise how much I do and I am capable of but I also realise i love my job and the team and how hard it will be to go and start all over again.

I really hope I find another company I feel as at home with and happy to work for long term.

It’s right and normal to be nervous and apprehensive with such a massive change. I am just going to take each day as it comes and busy myself with organising and spending time with people I love.

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