8 weeks and counting

Wow this week has been exhausting!

What with the early morning hours, commutes and extra projects at work I feel so tired.

The only way I can get myself to sleep at the moment is watching Friends until I feel like I am drifting off. Even my Hypnotherapy track just makes me agitated and I start tossing and turning with the hot flashes taking over.

I am waking up between 3 and 4 am and my brain decides to run through scenarios, and stress over every day things and once o d get back to sleep the alarms going off.

After a week of feeling almost normal the sinus lurgy I have been fighting for a couple of months has drifted back. I have had a headache all week and today my whole face hurts.

I am waiting for some blood test results from the Dr but i havent heard anything.

On Friday  attended a work colleagues funeral. He was in his late 60s and such a funny, down to earth character that never failed to make you smile. He did alot of charity work and always saw the best in everyone. His family spoke about him so lovingly and I have been thinking about what really matters in life.

You look at what you have and what important. I have been thinking alot about how lucky I am with the people I have around me. They all appreciate the move I am about to make and understand the reasons behind it.

It was my husbands 40th yesterday and many people came together to celebrate with him, and i think he also noted how many people cared enough to come out and cheer him on.

Getting older is scary for anyone. You worry about your own health and losing the people you care about. My Endo journey will never end because how ever much I appreciate the loss of the periods and pain surrounding that I am left with the damage.

I will always have difficult bowels, scarring and the fear of osteoporosis. The hot flashes and the odd moods, and the fact I can not bare a child.

However I do have a family, friends, loving husband and a new adventure to begin. So although we arent able to do the traditional family thing we do have opportunities and a chance to create new experiences that we probably wouldn’t have afforded to have with another mouth to feed.

This doesn’t mean we wont look to adopt but we will evaluate what we want to achieve for ourselves first.

On Monday I am going to begin the paperwork side of the move. I will be phoning around insurance companies, drs, etc to find out what notice I need to give and what needs to be done next.

I think this will help me feel more organised as at the moment I feel like I should have more done. In reality its hard to get organised when you still have 2 months of life here to live.




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